CARA @ COM101

Entry #7

2009-10-25T22:23:00.002+08:00

My thoughts so far.

I've learnt a great deal in the past seven weeks.

Before, I would never give much thought on the communication skills used by directors in their movies and dramas. As I watch movies and dramas now, analysis of the communication methods will be processing through my head. At times, I would even unknowingly start to comment on how the director could adopt another concept to send a clearer message to viewers.

Watching television programmes and movies is not only a form of entertainment. It also serve as a chance to flaunt my knowledge of communication.

Of course, it has helped my communication skills with family and friends, especially so with friends with different cultural background as mine.

Working on a project with assigned group members I did not know at all was definitely a challenge. However, it was certainly a different experience from the past projects I've worked on with group members of my choice. It is also interesting learn the category of group member I fall into.

The most useful knowledge I've gained from COM101 is the better understanding of the dynamics of a group, the roles that a group member should undertake.

Not forgetting the most interesting topic of all: relational maintenance in couple relationship. I'm sure it will come in handy

Entry #6

2009-10-18T21:17:00.001+08:00

The mass media is the most influential and powerful form of communication.

Through mass media, companies are able to expand their areas of businesses, educators are able to share and pass on their knowledge to a bigger population, and people are influenced by media content as well.

Interactivity with the senders were limited in the traditional mass media whereas interactivity of modern mass media has definitely been enhanced over the years. Audiences are able to send rapid feedback to the producers and necessary replies are sent back too.

One glaring effect of the globalisation of mass media is modernisation (or some may term it as westernisation). Compare the ratio of western to Asia channels, Caucasian to Asian models in advertisements and posters, international magazines and newspapers published by the westerners to Asians.

This form of cultural imperialisation, whether intended or not, have already influenced cultures in many parts of the world. Cultures have morphed into different forms.

Nevertheless, it has brought about much development in terms of openness to new ideas which have led to development in economic and social aspects in a region.

Whether or not mass media incluences the world more in a positive or more in a negative way should not be the centre of debate anymore.

What the world should focus on is how people should become more responsible users of the mass media as a medium to communicate.

Individuals should pratice self-censorship of sensitive comments posted on the net, media producers should give more consideration on the sociological and psychological effects of their work.

Entry #5

2009-10-10T18:31:00.002+08:00

Intercultural Communication

My focus of my 5th entry will be on the important key points to note in intercultural communication; basically, how are we to avoid misunderstandings while we are encoding and decoding our messages while communicating with someone of another culture.

Let us first take a look at the cultural "iceberg" which was found in one of the books written by Gary Weaver, who is an expert in culture communication as well as cross-cultural adaption and negotiation.

The above model can be found from the url below:
http://www.hsp.org/files/culturaliceberg2.pdf

Why the use of iceberg as a metaphor to describe culture?

The tip of an iceberg, which is above water level, can be easily seen whereas part of the iceberg which is at water level will require more attentive observation. The lowest part of an iceberg which is totally submerged in the deep waters is usually the part which we cannot gauge and observe. This coincides with Weaver's culture context.

In Weaver's context, the iceberg basically consists of three main levels as well.

The first, termed as surface culture, consists of physical or more obvious abstract representations of culture which can be easily understood, appreciated and accepted. However, the top most level of the cultural iceberg does not contribute much to effectiveness of cross cultural communication.

The next, folk culture, which is at water line of an iceberg, may not be necessarily clear-cut to all but is important in trying to understand the roots of a culture. Unlike surface culture, whatever that lies in this level has to be explained or observed carefully. Personal experiences or cross-cultural exchange may help to eliminate any doubts in the structure or template they live in.

The bottom most level, termed as deep culture, is primarily out of our means and ability to learn and to understand. Only those who live that experience can understand the more intricate issues in their culture. A third party will not even be aware of the parts which make up deep culture unless awareness is created by the person directly involved in it.

Your culture is a particular template of living which you affiliate yourself with and the status you deem yourself in.

Cross-cultural communication breakdowns occur because people often view issues subjectively and when they view the issues in a negative light. People tend to be opinionated because they tend to view things through the lens of their own culture. When something is different from what they are used to in their culture, they deem it as inappropriate and hence, create a negative impression and a perception that what the other party has done is incorrect. This inevitably affects their communication with people from other cultures.

One do not have to identify or agree with the cultural behaviors or point of view, but it is important to look at the internal elements and different patterns of behavior to make generalizations of bigger picture that will avoid any misunderstandings or breakdowns while communicating.

We need to be clear in the verbal and nonverbal messages that we send out. Different cultures have differing definitions of slang, and place emphasis on different areas of nonverbal cues. A similar facial expression could mean different reactions to two groups of people belonging to different cultures.

Below is a video of an interview with an expat who has lived in Singapore for slightly more than two years. The short clip illustrates the different levels of the cultural iceberg.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaIuBgG2nLU&feature=related

Entry #4

2009-10-04T22:52:00.006+08:00

Students of COM 101 class were introduced to one of the most influential models of relationship by Mark Knapp.

The model, as shown in the diagram below, can be simplified into two main phases; coming together and coming apart.

Coming together, which is also the honeymoon phase, brings about different experiences and emotions.

In the first stage (initiating), each party is in the process of determining whether they would want to proceed on to the next stage based on basic expectations of a potential partner. While screening and filtering, they are careful in presenting the best in them to remain as a desirable candidate.

The second stage of experimentation, both party engage in small talk and try to understand each other through these conversations by processing whatever information the other party is willing to disclose.

The third stage, intensifying, see the couple getting more involved in the relationship by increasing commitment, awareness and participation. Here, couple opens up more to each other and starts to bring "we" into the context and recognises their relational identity.

In the next stage, integrating, couple encompasses their social networks by introducing partner to friends and acknowledges that they are a couple.

Bonding, the last stage of coming together, is whereby a couple formalises the obligation and commitment in the relationship. It is formalised through significant events, usually involving a drastic change in individual lifestyle, such as engagement, marriage or having a child.

Some couples take their time in their run towards the bonding stage whereas some race towards the fifth stage in lightning speed. In some cases, couples are not ready to even embark on their journey towards the final stage of coming together and were forced to come together.

Digressing, does the sequence of the above mentioned stages matter? Will skipping one or two of the beginning four stages affect the future of the relationship? Matchmaking was considered a norm in olden days. Some couples may not even have met each other until the wedding day itself. Relationships between married couples in this category do not follow the sequence of the Knapp model. However, there are cases of successful marriage despite not going through the first few stages.

Back to the model, the initial stage of coming apart involves communication and interaction marked by overt conflict. The desire to assert individuality inevitably enhance the contrast of the couple.

In the seventh stage of circumscribing, couples start to limit or confine communication to safe ares. They start to lose interest and commitment starts to behave in a non chalant manner.

I personally feel that this stage differs between both gender. Women start to feel insecure and frantically tries to expand the communication area. She would want to "sit down and talk about it" in an attempt to prevent the conflict from intensifying. On the other hand, men would respond by "I don't want to talk about it". While men have shrinking relational interest and commitment, women will give more focus on the relationship and commit herself more than before. Of course, this generalisation does not apply to every man or woman.

Past the stage of circumscribing, stagnation comes knocking on the door. Couples go through the motions of a relationship with the absence of joy and excitement that was ever present in the coming together phase. I would call this the 'loveless' stage whereby couples would decide to stay together for certain reasons; for the sake of children or for convenience.

In the ninth stage, couples start to avoid one another and all channels of communication are sealed. This, is the state that will eventually cause the dissolution of the relationship with little likelihood of the couple starting anew.

The final stage, termed terminating, is whereby the relationship ceased to exist. Both parties part ways and move on from the relationship.

What happens after the relationship has ended depends on how the couple handled the break up. Some can remain as friends whereas others turn into enemies.

Have you noticed the same pattern in your present/past relationships?

Entry #3

2009-09-27T22:42:00.000+08:00

Our communications instructor kick started our lesson on Chapter 3 by asking why we get ourselves in romantic relationships.

I was wondering why she was asking that. Turned out that we are to study on communication in relationships.

We learnt about the qualitative and quantitative approaches of communication.

Many would agree that communication is the key in a successful relationship. The first thing people would normally ask when you are confiding about a quarrel you had with your spouse would be "have the both of you talked about it?"

It is often that one will tell his/her spouse "we need to talk" whenever a problem arises. After having sat down and talked about their problems, they may not have solved what had been bugging them for ages. They may even have brought family and friends into the picture, tried to be more loving and spend more time together, but not one of the methods worked at the end of the day.

Why is this so?

I would say that they have ignored that qualitative approach. The qualitative approach, as stated in my set of notes, defines interpersonal communication with a focus on the quality in character of communication.

The couple may have just vomited out what was in their mind and how they felt. They have, in the process of communicating, forgotten to listen. In the process of trying voice out one's displeasure may have impeded one's ability to hear the intended message his/her partner wishes to send. Consequently, one may not have entirely understood what his/her partner has to say. One would not then be able to try and adjust to a mindset similar to the sender. If one is able to put him/herself into the other party's shoes and think on the same parallel and accommodate each other, I believe the problem would certainly be solved.

Of course, this is just my perspective and I may not be entirely right.

Entry #2

2009-09-20T21:45:00.000+08:00

So, many of us have concluded that both verbal and nonverbal communication has its pros and cons. More of us though, lean towards verbal communication.

Watch the short clip below, and perhaps you may have a slight change in your opinions.

"Signs" is a short film about communications and is one of the 2009 Cannes Lions Winners.

Would it be fair now, to say that the success of relaying a message in the correct meaning doe snot solely depend on the verbal or nonverbal factor, but instead relies heavily on our body language? The tone of voice is the second in list of importance, but only apples when it is not face to face communication. If body language can be seen or sensed, the tone of voice would not hold much of an importance as the tone could be ‘felt’ through our body language.

For instance, when someone tells a lie, one often gives oneself away due to one’s body language. Adverting eye contact, twirling her hair, fidgeting, could be signs that one is lying.

In my personal opinion, the words used in the communication process have the smallest impact on the outcome of communication.

One can have very poor command of a certain language, not that expressive can still churn out a very meaningful speech, engage and move his audiences though he may have stumbled a lot in his speech as his body language showed that he was sincere.

We do not like people to be eating or answering natures call while talking on the phone. This shows that communication is not all about the tone or misinterpretation of the meanings.

In conclusion, I would agree that verbal and nonverbal communications are part of a whole.

Entry #1

2009-09-13T23:58:00.000+08:00

I will be blogging about "Little Note", a new short film written and directed by local filmmaker Royston Tan.

It tells the story of how a mother and son supported each other through words of encouragement in the little notes they write for each other. The content in these little notes helped them cast away fears and served as a drive in each and every step forward in life.

The short film inspires audiences to overcome their obstacles with courage and confidence.

I would say that our intended meanings by expressing ourselves symbolically through words usually get distorted.

For example, you slip a note into your neighbour's house to ask if the family could lower down their volume in their afternoon activities so as not to disturb your afternoon nap could be perceived as rude. The supposed tone was polite and apologetic for having to restrict them could be perceived as rude and unreasonable. They may have read it as you screaming at them.

According to the psychological model, communication was unsuccessful in this case as the meaning intended by you differ from the meaning interpreted by your neighbours. Perhaps, it would be better if both you and neighbour could talk in the form of a transactional model whereby it involves simultaneous exchange between communicators and misunderstandings could be prevented.

Of course, a same way of communicating does not fail for all. Obviously, the same way of communication worked well for the mother and son in "Little Note".

Both mother and son shared same experiences and could learn to see things from each other's point of view. Therefore, the form of communication was very successful and was stretched to its maximum use. Their messages for each other may not have been as successfully relayed if they have used another form of communication. Perhaps, the son would not be able to express his love for mum verbally.

As so in many cases, some are not able to say “I love you” face to face with your parents but could so via SMS.

Link to "Little Note" officail site: http://www.littlenote.sg/